Every Time
by Saruvi
Summary: A/U Fic. Hisoka is plagued by nightmares of Muraki and a calming presence when he was dying. Who or what is the voice he keeps remembering and how does Tsuzuki fit into the picture?
1. The Nightmare

**Disclaimer**: Yami no Matsuei and the characters Hisoka Kurosaki, Asato Tsuzuki, and other YnM characters are the property of Yoko Matsushita.

--

Hisoka ran until his lungs felt like they would collapse. Lately, he'd taken up running in the mornings to escape from the demons in his dreams at night. He couldn't figure out the most important thing he needed or wanted. That voice. So familiar.

He stopped when he bumped into something hard but soft. Looking up, he was amazed at seeing the most beautiful set of purple eyes. Rich chocolate brown hair and the kindest face.

"Oh I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going," the man said.

"It's my fault. I apologize. I was thinking and not looking where I was running," Hisoka replied.

"I'm Tsuzuki," the man said, holding out his hand.

Hisoka took it and was surprised that he felt nothing but warm feelings and a bit of sadness coming from the man with his empathy. Usually, he felt all kinds of things. Things that made him not want to be near anyone, but this man was different. Hisoka suddenly wanted to get to know the man more.

"W-would you like to get some coffee or something to eat, since it's almost breakfast time?" Hisoka asked.

"I'd love to!" Tsuzuki exclaimed.

And that was how they'd met. Now six months later, they were involved, living together and loving each other. But Hisoka could still not be too intimate with Tsuzuki. Ever since the dreams of that night when he was thirteen.

--

_He knew this time was just like every time before it. Running, trying to get away from the one man, the one thing that destroyed everything. Including him. He ran anyway, inevitable as it was, he couldn't stop running._

"_I don't understand, why every time we do this, you run," the man said. _

_But the boy ran anyway, and tripped, as he'd done so many times before. He was thirteen this time, and ready to die, though, he wasn't ready for the pain as the man descended upon him and stripped him of his clothing. As he raped him, and cut into his flesh, marveling at the crimson color of blood washing its way over pale flesh, seeping into hard earth beneath the two figures._

"_No! Not again!" the boy screamed as he jerked awake, his body aching as it remembered that night three years ago, as it struggled to stay alive but knew, it was dying anyway._

_He was in a hospital and the nurses ignored him not knowing how to soothe his pain, not caring to soothe it either way. The boy was lonely and he felt a hand suddenly brush his bangs away. _

"_It's alright baby, I'm here," a rich voice said, startling the boy. But he'd heard it before. Where? When? _

_He just knew, this voice, had always been with him. Every life he lived, everything was the same. Every time._

_But he knew, he wouldn't remember this when he woke up. Only the pieces of the dream, but not the part he wanted to remember._

_--_

"Tsuzuki!" Hisoka jerked awake, safe in his room. Tsuzuki rushed into the room to see what was bothering his lover and partner, what had scared the boy so badly to have him scream so horribly in the night.

"Soka? What's wrong?" Tsuzuki asked.

"Dream. Again.Why?" Hisoka asked, shaking. He was visibly scared, emotionally scarred from the dream he could so clearly remember during it but not when he was awake. Where did it come from.

"Again baby? Come here," Tsuzuki said, as he sat down on the bed and scooped up the shaking boy in his arms, "Is it the dream with Muraki?"

"Yes, but there's something else in it I've never seen. What was it... I don't remember," Hisoka muttered, starting to cry as his shaking became almost violent.

"Talk to Watari tomorrow?" Tsuzuki suggested.

"Sure. Hold me though until I fall asleep. I won't dream that way," Hisoka asked.

"Always," Tsuzuki said laying the boy down and cradling him as though he were a little baby in need of his mother's warmth.

"I'm not a baby you know," Hisoka suddenly said, blushing.

"You're my baby, but not a baby in the infantile sense, no," Tsuzuki answered as the moon began to descend and work it's way out of the sky so the sun could take over.

"I love you. Please don't let me dream," Hisoka said, yawning as he fell asleep once more.

If Tsuzuki could stop the dreams, he would have, but it wasn't in his power to do so. Hisoka was dreaming every night of past hurts. But every time was the same, except one thing he couldn't figure out and one thing Tsuzuki could not tell him.


	2. The Voice Again

"_How are you today Kurosaki-kun?" the new doctor asked. _

_He had brown hair and sapphire blue eyes. Hisoka had never seen this doctor before. He was fourteen and sick. After repeatedly being told he wasn't getting any better, his parents had finally sent him to the hospital a year after the assault. No one knew about that though. Not even Hisoka. He didn't remember anything about that night._

"_How do you think I am doctor?" Hisoka snapped._

"_I would imagine you're in a tremendous amount of pain. I will order some painkillers for you to take when you can't bear it," the doctor told him._

"_Whatever. When can I go home?" Hisoka asked._

_The doctor was kind and only shook his head, saying "You won't be going home. Your parents have signed guardianship over to the hospital."_

"_What do you mean? I can't go home ever?" Hisoka asked flatly._

"_Your parents don't want you to come home because they don't want to catch what you have, they have told the hospital. I am sorry," the doctor told him._

_Hisoka began to cry after the doctor left, then he felt someone's arms around him, holding him close. _

"_It's alright baby, cry if you need to. I won't leave you," a soft voice told him as the arms tightened._

"_Who?" he asked, wiping his eyes._

"_Don't worry about it. I'm here for you though," the voice said. _

_Hisoka didn't question again as he began to fall asleep._

_--_

Waking up, Hisoka rolled over, his face wet from tears shed during the dream.

"Again?" Tsuzuki asked softly.

"Y-yeah again," Hisoka stuttered, shaking from the dream.

Wiping off his cheeks, he threw his legs over the side of the bed and got up. He had school soon. College classes began for him at nine a.m. He was never late but it was already eight.

"I better hurry up. I'll be late and Professor Tatsumi doesn't like that," Hisoka said, leaning down to kiss Tsuzuki.

Even if he was shaken from the dream, he would always make sure Tsuzuki knew he was loved. Hisoka jumped into the shower, wondering about the voice and arms again in his dream. He had stayed in his current lifetime in the dream. He knew he'd had other lives, because he dreamed of them. But he never understood why he dreamed about them.

"Hey Soka, don't forget to talk to Watari today ok?" Tsuzuki said through the doorway.

"Sure thing. Can you get me a cup of coffee please? I'll love you forever," Hisoka teased, climbing out of the shower.

"You'll love me forever anyway," Tsuzuki teased back.

"Yeah I will," Hisoka said, putting on his robe and kissing his boyfriend.

"Wanna meet at that little restaurant for dinner tonight after I'm done at work?" Tsuzuki suggested when they were getting ready to leave for the day.

"Sure. About six. See you there?" Hisoka said, wrapping his arms around the taller man's neck and leaning up to kiss him.

"Hai," Tsuzuki said as they parted ways.

--

Hisoka had a hard time staying awake in class that morning. The professor seemed to drone on and on about mathematical figures which bored Hisoka on a normal day but seemed to cause him to become sleepy that morning. Falling asleep, he was dragged into a life he couldn't remember unless he was dreaming about it. A life of hatred and beatings.

"_You good for nothing little runt!" a man yelled at him._

_He was only seven and he was being beaten again for not finishing his chores. He was too small to muck out the stables and yet, his father expected this of him. _

"_I-I'm sorry father! I tried to do the work but the rakes are really heavy and I couldn't lift them for too long to... itai!" he screamed._

"_You do the work or you get sold!" the man yelled._

"_Yes father," the young boy said._

"_Get out of my sight before I beat you again!" his father sneered._

_He nodded and ran to the stables. To the loft that was his secret hiding spot. Where nothing could hurt him and someone always held him._

"_Are you here?" he whispered._

"_Yes baby, I'm here," the voice said._

"_Could... could you hold me?" he asked shyly._

"_Always baby," the voice said, and the feeling of strong arms came around him as he felt himself being pulled into a lap. He cuddled close not questioning the fact he could never see the person behind the voice._

_Sometimes, he could make out a hazy silhouette of a form but mostly he couldn't see anything clearly. He wanted to believe it was an angel but he wasn't sure if he believed in anything. Even at such a young age, his life was too full of despair to believe anyone, even an angel, would care about him._


	3. Run In

"Kurosaki-kun! Wake up!" a voice said next to his ear.

Hisoka jolted awake to the sounds of his classmates laughing. He grumbled, but straightened up. Glancing at his professor, he was shocked when he realized, he'd seen the man before. Though, he couldn't recall where.

He could never remember and it was as though something were blocking his memory. He shook that idea off. Who would do something like that anyway. Who _could_ do something like that. No one that he knew of could do things like block or erase memories. Except...

Muraki.

And Hisoka hadn't seen the man since he was thirteen, though he would never forget him from his dreams.

--

After mathematics class, he gathered up his books and was about to leave when he bumped into a man in white. Looking up, his throat closed as he recognized the man.

"Hello again bouya," Muraki said.

"What are you doing here?" Hisoka snapped.

"Why I've come to give a lecture. I didn't however think I'd have the pleasure of seeing you," Muraki said smoothly.

"Stay away from me! You hear me? Stay away!" Hisoka shouted as he ran out of the classroom, ignoring the looks from others.

--

He ran until he reached Watari's lab. Watari was head of the science department and a friend of Tsuzuki's. He was also a psychologist so that's why Tsuzuki suggested Hisoka see him. He wasn't creepy or invasive like most psychologists, so Hisoka had agreed. But nothing so far could make him remember. Nothing Watari did could erase the mental block Hisoka seemed to have over his memories.

"Hey bon," Watari said as Hisoka ran into the lab, sweaty from running, "What's got you in such a hurry."

"I saw Muraki. I haven't seen him since that night," Hisoka gasped out, throwing his bookbag on the floor and hopping onto a stool.

"How do you know it was him?" Watari asked stupidly.

"It was him. I see him in my nightmares. It was him. He's here for a lecture," Hisoka explained. Watari nodded.

"Oh,Tsuzuki called, he wanted to make sure you came to see me today," Watari told him.

Hisoka smiled. He loved how Tsuzuki always watched out for him. Though, he was sure the man would leave him someday soon since he couldn't be intimate with him without pulling away screaming in fear.

"Stop that. You know he's not going to leave you," Watari suddenly said, causing Hisoka to jump. He still wasn't completely at ease with Watari's telepathic powers.

"Why can't I be intimate? It's not only because of Muraki is it?" Hisoka asked.

"It might be you're afraid it'll hurt like that because of the life where you died due to the rape and curse. You're subconciously afraid it'll be the same," Watari explained.

"He hasn't even touched me in this life though. I know he's why I've died in every other life I've lived, but not this one. I don't want to lose Tsuzuki because of a past life that hasn't got anything to do with this one," Hisoka said, "Help me get over this Watari."

"Are you still dreaming about that voice that was always with you in every life?" Watari asked.

Hisoka nodded. "That voice, I dreamed of being held by the person behind it. I don't understand it. I've heard it before, every time and I can't figure out what it is."

"Could you have conjured it up with your empathy in each life or do you think it was an angel?" Watari asked.

"An angel? I don't even know if I believe in those. I should, considering I can remember past lives. What's thinking angels exist odd?" Hisoka laughed.

The two talked a long time, while Muraki stood outside the lab listening. Every time the kid had a life, it was Muraki who brought it to an end. With the exception of this life. But only because the kid had remembered each life.

--

"He's remembering isn't he?" the dark one haired man asked.

"Yes, but I can't tell him yet, he has to remember it all," The other man said.

"We're to protect him from it happening again, why shouldn't we tell him what's going on?" the first man asked.

"We were told not to. He might become panicked or scared. We need to watch out for that man Muraki. He's back as usual. He's holding all the cards and we can't tell Hisoka what's going to happen."

"I think, perhaps, we need to tighten our watch on the kid," the first man suggested.

"Right. Good idea. I've gotta go," Tsuzuki told the other man.

"Alright. But try to hint about what's going to happen?" Tatsumi said.

"Can't do that. We would lose our wings if we disobeyed him," Tsuzuki told Tatsumi.

"Right. Sure. Can't have the kid dying again while knowing what's happening just so we can keep our wings," Tatsumi said bitterly.

"He's got a destiny Tatsumi. I wasn't even supposed to show myself this time. It was an accident. I love him so much do you think it's easy for me to keep what's going to happen to him a secret?" Tsuzuki said angrily.

"I am sorry Tsuzuki. I let my bitterness get to me. I just want to save him this time. Not like every time before. I want us to keep him from having it happen again," Tatsumi said.

"So do I Tatsumi. He's my boyfriend. So do I," Tsuzuki said, as he left.


	4. Wings of an Angel

Hisoka woke up screaming the next night as memories of a little boy being raped and killed by a man in pure white under a red moon came back to flood throughout his dreams. He knew that life. His second life of living. He'd dreamed about it in class the day before.

"It's alright, Hisoka, calm down, it's alright," Tsuzuki said, taking the boy into his arms and holding him close.

"It'll never be alright. I saw Muraki. And even though he hasn't done anything to me in this life, I feel that he's just waiting," Hisoka mumbled.

"Why didn't you tell me you saw him?" Tsuzuki asked, a bit snappish.

"Because, I knew how you would react! You would get mad. So I didn't want to tell you," the boy said.

"It's okay. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the situation. When you told me about you remembering your past lives I was shocked. No one I've ever met can do that. And then, when we found out he was in this life and you'd met him, I was scared for you. I don't want him near you," Tsuzuki explained.

"I know I know! I just don't know what to do. Every life he has killed me in it. I've been raped so many times I think I'm almost used to it!" Hisoka snapped, crying.

"Never get used to something like that baby," Tsuzuki told him.

"I know," Hisoka sobbed.

Trying to get his boyfriend to stop crying, Tsuzuki kissed him on the lips softly.

"Please stop crying Hisoka, it'll be alright. I promise," Tsuzuki whispered, kissing along the boy's jaw and nipping at his ear.

Hisoka moaned involuntarily and wrapped his arms around Tsuzuki, pressing himself closer. He never felt so warm before, so wanted. He didn't protest when Tsuzuki went further down, kissing his neck and bare chest. He hadn't bothered to put on a shirt as it was a bit humid that night.

"Soka, is this alright?" Tsuzuki asked, as he lifted the boy to remove his boxers.

Hisoka couldn't speak so he nodded against Tsuzuki's neck, and gasped as he felt fingers wrap around his member, which hardened instantly under the man's touch. Then he began to become frightened that it would be like Muraki but he pushed it aside and cried out as the fingers worked him to a climax.

Panting, he whispered "more. I want more of you."

Tsuzuki smiled as he positioned the boy over him and slowly pushed him downwards. Hisoka cried out in pain but it began to go away as Tsuzuki licked at his neck and sucked on his nipples. After awhile all he felt was those kisses amidst the slight burning sensation of Tsuzuki sliding into him.

--

Afterwards, they lay panting in each others arms as their breathing evened out. Tsuzuki suddenly cried out in pain as his back throbbed. He sat up and Hisoka asked him what was wrong.

"I don't know. My back hurts," the man said as white wings exploded through the flesh of his back causing a tearing sensation to cause him to cry out.

"Tsuzuki!" Hisoka said, green eyes wide.

"Oh god. I'm in for it now," Tsuzuki said as Hisoka ran a hand over the white feathers of one of the wings.

"Tsuzuki, you know you're never to show your wings to a mortal!" Tatsumi said angrily.

"Huh? How'd you get in here?" Hisoka asked, then realized, it was his professor from college.

"Professor Tatsumi?" he asked. Then looked in shock as Watari suddenly showed up as well.

Both men also had white wings.

Hisoka scrambled out of bed, throwing a sheet around himself. What the hell was going on?

"What the hell is this?" he demanded.

"Soka, baby, I'm sorry, I couldn't tell you. But I'm an angel," Tsuzuki said.

"Tell me something I don't know!" Hisoka snapped.

"Well, I'm your angel. I wasn't supposed to get close to you but I fell in love with you and... please, don't hate me," Tsuzuki begged.

"I won't ever hate you, but this is something I need some time to get used to this," Hisoka told him.

"Tsuzuki! You're in trouble. You slept with a mortal," Watari said.

"I know that Watari. I couldn't help it. I love him," Tsuzuki said.

"You'll be stripped of your wings, you'll be put on trial. Do you understand what this means?" Tatsumi said, "You could be thrown out of Heaven."

"I would give up my immortal life to be with him," Tsuzuki replied, making Hisoka frown.

"We'll talk to the Creator and then we'll be back to let you know what is to happen to you. I'm sorry Tsuzuki. Hisoka, we didn't mean to lie to you, we were just put here to watch over you," Watari said.

"I know. It's fine. Please make sure Tsuzuki doesn't get into trouble," Hisoka begged.

"We'll do our best," both men said and nodded. Then they vanished.


	5. You Were the One

It turned out that Tsuzuki's punishment was to lose his wings and he had to tell Hisoka everything. A punishment he didn't relish. To tell Hisoka everything would make the empath angry. Knowing it was always Tsuzuki with him. Knowing every time something bad happened to the boy, the angel watched and did nothing. Could do nothing.

"You were the voice I heard? Every time?" Hisoka asked.

He couldn't believe it. The man he was in love with was an angel, even stripped of wings, he remained an angel. An earthbound angel, but one nonetheless. Now he was hearing that throughout all his lives, was the fact that Tsuzuki had always been with him.

"Yes. I would hold you and whisper to you that everything was alright," Tsuzuki said.

"Is that what you think? That everything was alright? I was beaten, raped, murdered, in four lives. My destiny is to have this happen each time you said right?" Hisoka snapped.

"Yes baby, but you can change your destiny since you know about it now," Tsuzuki told him.

"Oh so I could have changed it the last four times too if I had known about it?" the boy said angrily.

"Yes," Tsuzuki said, hanging his head.

"All this could have been stopped. I can't believe you! You told me you loved me! And yet, you watched me get raped four times in different lives? How could you watch that?" Hisoka screamed.

"I didn't! I didn't watch it! I was told not to be there! Don't you understand... I had a job to do. And I didn't fall in love with you until the last life. I'm so sorry baby," Tsuzuki said, flatly.

"I don't care if you're sorry. And don't call me baby! I'm not a baby!" Hisoka shouted.

"You're my baby, so please calm down. I couldn't te..." Tsuzuki said but Hisoka cut him off.

"No, I won't calm down. How could you watch? Do you know the nightmares of every time this has happened affect me? Tell me now, how do I stop this cycle from happening again and again!" Hisoka yelled.

"I don't know how to stop it. It's your destiny. In every life, you will go through this until you can find a way to stop it," Tsuzuki explained.

"How dammit!" Hisoka cried, collapsing in Tsuzuki's arms.

"I love you please don't cry, we'll figure it out," the older man told him.

"Please help me stop this. I don't want to go through it again. I can't go through it again! Muraki, he's waiting, watching and waiting! Help me!!" Hisoka cried.

"I will help you. You need to take your destiny into your own hands and try to change the outcome. But be careful, destiny is a fickle thing, it wants the predestined course to stay set. So while you're fighting to change it, it will fight you to stay the same," Tsuzuki explained.

"Alright, I'll think of something," Hisoka said.

Tsuzuki nodded, tightening his arms around his lover.

--

"Do you think everything will be okay Tatsumi?" Watari asked in bed.

"Aye. I think if they stay by one another, they can get through anything. But we better watch out for Muraki. He has lived every lifetime that the kid has so we need to be prepared for him to strike," Tatsumi said, holding his lover close.

"Alright, tomorrow I'll go see Tsuzuki and bon. Hopefully, Tsuzuki can get his wings back. He's going to need the extra power," Watari said, closing his eyes.

Tatsumi nodded and did the same.

--

"Ne Tsuzuki?" Hisoka asked, laying in Tsuzuki's arms in bed that night.

"Yeah baby?" Tsuzuki replied.

"If I went to Muraki... it would be on my terms right? I mean, if I went to him and stopped him before he could try to rape me and kill me, could that work? Could you help me?" Hisoka asked.

"I can't interfere Soka," Tsuzuki said.

"So, I have to do this alone," Hisoka said bitterly.

"I will be beside you, but I can't stop him from trying anything. Only you can do that," Tsuzuki told him. "But if it gets bad, I will step in."

"Ok fair enough," Hisoka said, leaning up to kiss his lover on the lips.


	6. Versus

Muraki slammed Hisoka up against the wall. He was enjoying being able to finally have the boy in his grasp. Touching him, even if it wasn't intimately was pure joy to the doctor. He'd had this boy four times in past lives and he wanted him again.

"Let me go!" Hisoka yelled.

This wasn't going as planned. Hisoka had sought out the doctor hoping to get him on his own terms, but the doctor quickly turned the tides of their battle so he had the upper hand. Hisoka didn't know what to do. He just knew he couldn't let the doctor win this time. Not in this life. Not in any life. Not anymore.

"I don't usually let what I consider to be mine go bouya," Muraki hissed.

"When you got away at thirteen in this life, I was angry, but I knew, if I just waited, you would come back to me and I would finally have what's mine again. Every time I thought about going to get you, I would tell myself to wait for you to come to me. And look here, you've returned to me," Muraki was saying as Hisoka struggled in his grip.

"Let him go Muraki!" Tsuzuki shouted as he ran into the room. They were in the library of the college. Books fell around them as Muraki let Hisoka slide from his grasp.

"Ah, the angel is here I see. But you know, you can't interfere in mortal happenings. Have you taken a liking to him? He is quite attractive isn't he?" Muraki smirked.

"I'll interfere if you force me to. If you touch him, or hurt him, I will make sure you go to hell where you belong!" Tsuzuki said.

"What and give up your immortal life?" Muraki asked, laughing.

"For him? Yes I would. Don't you touch him ever again," Tsuzuki told the man.

"Why can't you just leave me alone? I don't belong to you! I won't ever belong to you no matter what you do to me... no matter what life I live. I will never be yours!" Hisoka snapped.

"But you are already mine from the first time to every time I've had you and branded you with my mark. This time will be no exception. You will be mine," Muraki said walking away and vanishing.

--

Hisoka sat on the floor for a long time. Tsuzuki went to him and took him in his arms.

"I was so scared until you showed up Tsu. Scared he would be able to do it again. I can't go through it again. I remember the pain and the awful feeling of being dirty. I don't want him touching me," Hisoka cried.

"He won't touch you again baby. I'll do whatever I have to make sure he doesn't," Tsuzuki replied.

"You will get into trouble if you interfere. You heard him. You'll lose your immortal life if you help," Hisoka said.

"If it means saving you, I will give up eternity. If it means I can spend my life with you, it's a small price to pay to be with you," Tsuzuki told him.

"I love you Tsu," Hisoka sobbed, throwing his arms around the angel.

"I love you too baby," Tsuzuki answered.

--

"He's going to give up his immortality to be with that boy," Tatsumi said.

"Yes. I would do the same if it were us in their position," Watari said, looking over at his lover.

"I wouldn't ask you to do that!" Tatsumi said firmly.

"Bon isn't asking Tsuzuki to do that either. It's Tsuzuki's choice. He loves bon. More than anything, even himself. He wants to be with him," Watari replied.

"And who are we to interfere right?" Tatsumi asked.

"Exactly. I have always thought, if it came down to a choice between myself or you, I would pick you, because that is how much I love you," Watari said.

"You would give up yourself for me?" Tatsumi asked. Watari nodded.

"I would do the same for you. So I understand now the decision Tsuzuki is making. It'll be sad to lose him as an angel though," Tatsumi said.

"Yeah, but he'll be happier with bon than he ever was up here with us," Watari replied, making Tatsumi smile.


	7. Roses are Red

Hisoka woke up crying after having a nightmare of meeting Muraki at thirteen in this life. He was lucky to get away that time. But now he felt his luck was running out. In fact, when Hisoka had been thirteen, he had already known about his past lives through nightmares, though he hadn't been sure, when he had stumbled upon Muraki murdering a woman, he knew it was true.

He had lived four other times and had died to the same man. So he had ended up running away before Muraki saw him. Now at nineteen, a college student, with an angel for a lover, he felt time was running out for him to be saved from the monster who so desperately wanted to end his life.

He heard Tsuzuki whispering calming words to him as he sobbed into his pillow. When the man took him in his arms he let go and began crying in gasping sobs. He couldn't help it. All he wanted was to be happy with the man he loved. Get a degree, get a job and be happy. But Muraki wouldn't let that happen.

"S-should I let him just do it already and get it over with?" Hisoka asked.

"No! Don't you ever say something like that again Soka!" Tsuzuki said angrily, involuntarily tightening his hold so harshly that Hisoka squeaked in pain. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's ok. I'm just getting depressed over this. Maybe we should go out or something tonight. For dinner after classes," Hisoka suggested.

"Sounds good to me. You've been couped up in this apartment for two weeks now. It's got to be getting to you," Tsuzuki replied.

"It is. So you'll pick me up after classes right?" Hisoka asked.

"Yep. In front of the campus okay?" Tsuzuki said.

"Sure," Hisoka replied as they fell back to sleep.

--

Classes to Hisoka were tedious and boring compared to the danger lurking just around the corner. Tatsumi was concerned and asked him to stay after his last class of the day, which he did.

"So, how is everything? Tsuzuki said you had a run in with Muraki two weeks ago," the older man asked.

"It's going fine. I am trying not to let it get to me but it's kinda hard you know? I know this man is out to rape and kill me and yet, there's nothing I can do about it," Hisoka told him.

"There is always a choice Kurosaki. Always something you can choose to do so something you don't want to happen won't," Tatsumi said.

"I tried to meet Muraki on my own terms, and he took over. He's very strong. Stronger than I am and I don't know how to fight against him. Tsuzuki can't help or he loses heaven and I don't want that for him," Hisoka said.

"Tsuzuki wants to spend his days with you. Not Heaven. You are what he loves most. He is giving up on an eternity alone to share a lifetime with you, don't push that aside as though it's something simple," Tatsumi said.

"I'm not doing that. I just don't want him to regret the decision to share his life with me and give up his immortality," Hisoka replied.

"Kurosaki, I don't think he would ever regret any decision to share a life with you. As for Muraki, I'm sure when the time comes, you'll find your strength," Tatsumi said, as he walked away.

_Find my strength, _he thought, _how?_

Walking out of the building he was aware of the sun setting, the birds in the trees and the fact that Tsuzuki seemed to be late. The air suddenly became colder as a voice said behind him,

"Hello bouya, fancy meeting you here."

Whipping around, he was horrified when Muraki lifted a hand and he couldn't move to stop him from picking him up and carrying him away as he suddenly felt really tired and his eyes closed.

--

"Watari, have you seen Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked as he pulled up next to the scientist in parking lot.

"Uh, no. I know Tatsumi spoke to him a bit ago, but he should have been out by now," Watari answered.

"Alright, thanks," Tsuzuki said, going in search of his boyfriend.

When he couldn't find him an hour later, he was horrified to realize what must have happened when he stumbled upon a red rose laying on the ground.

"Muraki," he hissed.


	8. Strength Found

When Hisoka woke up, he was under the sakura tree near his childhood home. He was still clothed, so he was relieved about that. He didn't see Muraki anywhere but he felt him. He sat up and looked around. What was the man up to he wondered. Where was Tsuzuki?

"You're awake I see," Muraki said, suddenly appearing from behind the tree.

"Let me go please," Hisoka asked.

"I can't do that. This is our destiny. It has been for many past lifetimes and this life is no exception," Muraki told him.

"We can change our destiny though. We don't have to go through again and again," Hisoka said.

"Maybe I want to. I find you very pleasurable and when I'm inside you, I feel as though I can do anything. It's almost electrifying," Muraki said.

"Maybe you're feeding off my power, maybe there's another way," Hisoka pleaded. He wanted Tsuzuki because he didn't know if he could fight off Muraki on his own.

"There is no other way," Muraki said with finality.

"Please. Just let me go," Hisoka begged.

"Enough," Muraki hissed.

--

"Where would Muraki take him?" Watari asked.

"I don't know. I've looked everywhere, except," Tsuzuki's eyes widened.

"What?" Tatsumi asked.

"The sakura tree. By his home where he first ran into Muraki as a child. Where he's raped him every time. He has him there. I bet my life on it," Tsuzuki said.

"Then let's go," Watari said.

And the three of left in search of Hisoka's childhood home.

--

Hisoka continued to try to make Muraki let him go even as the man stripped him of his clothing. When Muraki backhanded him, he finally stopped as tears fell from his eyes. He couldn't go through with this again. He had things to live for. Stuff he wanted to do. A man he was in love with. Okay, not exactly a man but still.

"Good, you've begun to cry, I love it when you cry. So beautiful you are. I can't wait to have you again," Muraki whispered, running a pale finger over Hisoka's cheek as he leaned down to kiss the boy on the lips. Hisoka felt sick. He spit at Muraki which only earned him another slap to the cheek.

"Please do behave. It'll be over soon. I promise you that I will only take the necessary time to have you and then kill you like every time before this," Muraki smiled at this and Hisoka began to cry even harder.

As Muraki positioned himself in between Hisoka's legs, Hisoka drew up every ounce of hate he had for this man, for the many times he'd done this to him, for everything the man had always taken away, for what he was about to do.

Suddenly, Muraki was pushed off of him as a blast of psychic energy exploded from the empath. Hisoka looked up to see Muraki's forehead bleeding as the man lifted a hand to the cut on his head. Blood trickled down past his one visible eye to slide down his face and drip onto his chest.

"What the hell are you doing bouya?" Muraki hissed.

"Let him go Muraki!" Tsuzuki shouted.

Hisoka screamed as he stood up. "I won't let you do this to me ever again! I won't let you take everything from me! I won't let you rape me and use me then kill me! This is my life and I plan to keep living it and I won't let you do anything to destroy it!"

Another blast and Muraki was flung backwards then lifted off the ground only to be flung back down painfully. Tatsumi, Watari, and Tsuzuki watched in silence as Hisoka used his empathy to destroy his attacker.

"You've killed me four times, but that wasn't enough for you. You had to come after me again. Well, let me tell you this. You can't have me! I belong to someone else and I will be damned if I let you defile me and destroy him in the process," Hisoka continued shouting.

"Hisoka, stop it! You've won, stop beating him up. You'll kill him at this rate," Tsuzuki yelled, holding out his arms to the boy.

Hisoka looked at Muraki, then at Tsuzuki, shaking he walked over and wrapped his arms around his angel. Feeling the man holding him tightly. Muraki stood up as Tsuzuki took Hisoka into his arms trying to calm the shaking empath.

"You think this is over? You think you're the only one with powers?" Muraki sneered and suddenly, Hisoka was ripped from Tsuzuki's arms and thrown to the ground.

Muraki was going to have what he considered his as Hisoka's legs we pushed apart and upwards by the knees. The doctor moved to kneel in front of the boy, but Tsuzuki ran and yanked the man off, punching him in the face and slamming him up against the sakura tree.

"Tsuzuki! You'll be punished for this!" Hisoka screamed.

"I don't care! I won't let him hurt you," Tsuzuki said, wrapping his hands around the doctor's neck and squeezing until all you heard was nothing. Muraki was dead and Tsuzuki was the one who had broken Heaven's rules and murdered him.

--

**Three months later**

With Muraki dead, the nightmares stopped. Much to Hisoka's relief. He still lived with Tsuzuki who was now a full mortal as that was his punishment. The Creator had shown leniency when deciding on a punishment.

Looking over the records and what Muraki had done to Hisoka, the Creator had decided that it would be best if Tsuzuki stay with Hisoka as a mortal. Though, it wasn't really a punishment so much as a reward. The Creator knew Tsuzuki was happier with the young boy so he made him a mortal. He also figured, only mortals killed other mortals. So it all worked out.

"Tsu, are you upset that you're no longer an angel?" Hisoka asked one day.

"Nope. I love you more than my wings. Well, my former wings that is," Tsuzuki said, smiling at his own joke.

Hisoka laughed and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. They were happy. Despite having lived four other lives, the only life Hisoka considered important was this one. It was the one where he could actually touch Tsuzuki and not just feel him or hear him. So, he was happy.


End file.
